Do you think that adopted children should have a right to know who their actual biological parents are?
Adopted Children?
- Thread starter Cam Cam
- Start date
Of course they should. I actually know a bunch of adopted people (they always talk in Russian just to annoy me) and they've actually gone to Russia a few times. Only one of them (I think) actually knows who their parents are, but at least they can visit where they were born.
Why shouldn't they be able to know who their actual parents are?
Why shouldn't they be able to know who their actual parents are?
Homerunsox2005
Legend
Yeah why shouldn't they?
Well, some people who adopt children don't want the adopted child to know that he or she is adopted. Let alone actually telling the adopted child who their biological parents are. There are actually some cons to telling the adopted child who his or her biological parents are. For one, it may make the child feel different, and feel like an outcast. Another reason is that some adopted children will then try to look for their biological parents. The adopted child could be told who his or her biological parents are, and then the adopted child could convince his or her self into thinking that this was all a big misunderstanding, as in "They probably didn't mean to put me up for adoption," "They miss me," etc. The adopted child could end up thinking that the biological parents want him or her back. It's hard to explain.
Homerunsox2005
Legend
//storage.proboards.com/2930147/avatar/cnEucbYCBIqxP0zXFVib.pngMay 26, 2011 11:46:19 GMT -5 Cameron said:
Mar 11, 2011 23:20:03 GMT -5 Homerunsox2005 said:Yeah why shouldn't they?
Well, some people who adopt children don't want the adopted child to know that he or she is adopted. Let alone actually telling the adopted child who their biological parents are. There are actually some cons to telling the adopted child who his or her biological parents are. For one, it may make the child feel different, and feel like an outcast. Another reason is that some adopted children will then try to look for their biological parents. The adopted child could be told who his or her biological parents are, and then the adopted child could convince his or her self into thinking that this was all a big misunderstanding, as in "They probably didn't mean to put me up for adoption," "They miss me," etc. The adopted child could end up thinking that the biological parents want him or her back. It's hard to explain.
Yeah, I think the parents who adopted the children should wait until the child(ren) is mature enough to handle it.
Well, some people who adopt children don't want the adopted child to know that he or she is adopted. Let alone actually telling the adopted child who their biological parents are. There are actually some cons to telling the adopted child who his or her biological parents are. For one, it may make the child feel different, and feel like an outcast. Another reason is that some adopted children will then try to look for their biological parents. The adopted child could be told who his or her biological parents are, and then the adopted child could convince his or her self into thinking that this was all a big misunderstanding, as in "They probably didn't mean to put me up for adoption," "They miss me," etc. The adopted child could end up thinking that the biological parents want him or her back. It's hard to explain.
Yeah, I think the parents who adopted the children should wait until the child(ren) is mature enough to handle it.
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Well, some people who adopt children don't want the adopted child to know that he or she is adopted. Let alone actually telling the adopted child who their biological parents are. There are actually some cons to telling the adopted child who his or her biological parents are. For one, it may make the child feel different, and feel like an outcast. Another reason is that some adopted children will then try to look for their biological parents. The adopted child could be told who his or her biological parents are, and then the adopted child could convince his or her self into thinking that this was all a big misunderstanding, as in "They probably didn't mean to put me up for adoption," "They miss me," etc. The adopted child could end up thinking that the biological parents want him or her back. It's hard to explain.
Yeah, I think the parents who adopted the children should wait until the child(ren) is mature enough to handle it.
But then that goes into the personal judgement of the parents. If they do it too late, the child will feel like they have been lied to for many years and may lose trust in his or her parents. Tell it too early, and they will probably not understand. So if the parents make a mistaken in their personal judgement, they child could be scarred for life emotionally and mentally. So, this is where the argument comes in to just not tell the child that they are adopted. To avoid hurting the child emotionally and mentally.
//storage.proboards.com/2930147/avatar/cnEucbYCBIqxP0zXFVib.pngMay 26, 2011 12:07:56 GMT -5 Cameron said:
May 26, 2011 11:54:44 GMT -5 Ozzie said:
Yeah, I think the parents who adopted the children should wait until the child(ren) is mature enough to handle it.
But then that goes into the personal judgement of the parents. If they do it too late, the child will feel like they have been lied to for many years and may lose trust in his or her parents. Tell it too early, and they will probably not understand. So if the parents make a mistaken in their personal judgement, they child could be scarred for life emotionally and mentally. So, this is where the argument comes in to just not tell the child that they are adopted. To avoid hurting the child emotionally and mentally.
It's almost impossible to say that they'll never find out, and if they did, 20 years later, imagine how much worse it would be.
In my opinion the parents are taking a huge risk in not telling the child.
Yeah, I think the parents who adopted the children should wait until the child(ren) is mature enough to handle it.
But then that goes into the personal judgement of the parents. If they do it too late, the child will feel like they have been lied to for many years and may lose trust in his or her parents. Tell it too early, and they will probably not understand. So if the parents make a mistaken in their personal judgement, they child could be scarred for life emotionally and mentally. So, this is where the argument comes in to just not tell the child that they are adopted. To avoid hurting the child emotionally and mentally.
It's almost impossible to say that they'll never find out, and if they did, 20 years later, imagine how much worse it would be.
In my opinion the parents are taking a huge risk in not telling the child.
boolgermaine
Hall of Famer
Informing adopted children of the identity of their biological parents could be problematic. Imagine where adopted children don't like their adoptive parent/s and the biological parent/s is/are alive.
This would be a complex problem to resolve. And sometimes you can't even convince the adopted children to budge
boolgermaine
Hall of Famer
Yea. Sharing this information with the adopted children would constitute putting oneself to harm.
Some secrets should never be revealed.
Some secrets should never be revealed.
We are in the same shoe I never see any need for them to discover this mostly if you where adopted into rich family just forget about it
Yeah I'm also asking what is really the essence. It is better to let the sleeping dog lie